Rant
Self-Checkout Machines Were Designed by Someone Who Has Never Bought Groceries
"Unexpected item in bagging area." I AM THE ITEM. I AM IN THE BAGGING AREA. THIS IS MY LIFE NOW.
Scream with me →🔥 Featured Review
I Stayed at a 5-Star Hotel and the Toilet Paper Was a Single-Ply Crime Against Humanity
You spend $800 a night for a room with a marble bathroom, heated floors, and a bidet that speaks French — and they give you toilet paper that disintegrates if you look at it wrong. I conducted a scientific investigation. The results will shock you.
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Science
I Spent 72 Hours Trying to Sneeze With My Eyes Open and the Results Are Disturbing
We've all heard the myth: if you sneeze with your eyes open, your eyeballs will pop out. I spent three days, 47 sneezes, and one restraining order finding out the truth. You're welcome.
Risk your eyes →
Review
I Bought a $35 Banana Holder So You Don't Have To
Spoiler: it holds one banana. That's it. That's the whole product. But I spent $35 so I'm going to review it like it's a luxury vehicle.
Waste your time →
Life
I Built an IKEA Bookshelf and Now I Understand Why People Become Hermits
Step 1: 2 hours. Step 2: 47 extra screws. Step 3: Questioning every life choice that led to this moment. Step 4: It's slightly crooked and I will die before I fix it.
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Tech
My Smart Fridge Sent Me a Notification That I'm Out of Milk and I Want to Throw It Out a Window
I know I'm out of milk, fridge. I'm the one who drank it. I was there. You don't need to notify me. You don't need to suggest a shopping list. You're a refrigerator. Chill the food and shut up.
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Food
I Ate Gas Station Sushi and Lived to Tell the Tale (Barely)
For science. For glory. For content. I consumed a gas station California roll at 2 AM and documented every moment of the experience. The good news: I survived. The bad news: I have seen things.
Read at your own risk →